This is an update on my husband’s brain tumor. As a recap, he had a seizure 44 days ago, on January 31st. His first, and only so far. We were taken to two hospitals by the paramedics and after three days of various cat scans, MRIs and finally a brain biopsy it was determined that he has glioblastoma multiform and was given 18-24 months to live with treatment.
We have since found out that it is a wild style tumor which means it’s the most aggressive form of cancer our neurosurgeon has ever seen. It grew from 1.5 inches at the time of his seizure to 2 inches 19 days later when they took another MRI to finish plotting his radiation treatments.
Depending on which of his doctors you talk to the treatments he is having could do anything from nothing at all, to slowing the growth, to shrinking the tumor.
So far he has had 13 of 33 radiation treatments and 18 of 42 chemo pills. Until this past week the only real symptoms of treatment he was experiencing were being tired all the time and being hungry all the time.
This week though we ended up with a more visual reminder of his oncoming death. He began to lose his hair from the radiation. We both took it poorly. Neither of us are attached to his hair, but for me, when he looked normal I could keep the panic at bay and sometimes even forget that he was dying before my eyes for minutes at a time. Now whenever I look at him I’m hit in the face with a reminder that I’m losing my husband and best friend, probably soon. It kills me over and over every day.
Today we’re going to the girl that has cut his hair longer than I’ve known him to let her take his hair off all the way so we don’t have to slowly watch him lose the rest of it all over the house.
We have no idea what size his tumor might be at this point. They will do another MRI in a month or so when his treatments have ended for this session. We just don’t know what to expect next or how much time to really hope for. Right now life is lived minute to minute focusing only on the exact next thing I need to accomplish. I don’t know how to live it any other way.